Love is not resentful
Love also is not resentful. It does not take an account of wrongs suffered. It does not think that someone woke up with an intent to do them wrong. Love is willing give the benefit of the doubt when difficulties arrive. This results in one thing that is characteristic of Love, Forgiveness.
When I hold onto resentment, what I am saying, in effect, is that some injustice has been done to me and I need to see justice dealt out. Something needs to even the score. Reconciliation in such cases involves the offender grovelling. At any minute the offended can pull out not just the current offense but any list of previous offenses which they have been keeping track of.
Love, on the other hand, is willing to let go injustices and wrongs suffered. It certainly will not have a filing cabinet stuffed with all the wrongs suffered. It doesn’t keep a count of the wrongs done against it.
The prodigal son’s brother apparently was not one to let go of a resentment and it only got worse after the brother returned. I have wondered if the older brother was jealous of the his younger brother’s lifestyle. It shouldn’t be that way, of course (more on that in a bit), and it doesn’t seem as if he enjoyed the blessings of being in his father’s household.
At the very least, he was resentful of his father’s welcome of this prodigal young man. He says that he didn’t have any parties with his friends and feels as if his father has mistreated him in some way. This is highly unlikely based on the father’s response to both children AND even more unlikely when you consider the parable’s father is representative of our Heavenly Father who is only too glad to be generous in His blessings.
The men hired by the landowner to work in his field were grudge holders also. (Matt 20) They resented this good man for being generous to those who had worked a mere hour. I know that in today’s culture, labor laws would no doubt prohibit such generosity. There would be lawsuits and grievances filed and the poor landowner would be thinking, “why do I even bother?”. Yet, his question is valid “Is it not lawful….?” He broke no law, no crime had been done. There was no law against being generous and there is no law that prohibits us from being forgiving and letting go of resentment.
A better response to those that wrong us is to remember how much we have wronged God.
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” (Mar 11:25-26 NKJV)
It matters not how bad the crime or how big the offense, the sins I have done against God are far bigger than those offenses against me. Hard to hear? Yep! Yet, well worth thinking about, pondering and trying to work on. If we are going to be Love (as God is Love), we need to remove resentment, for any reason, from our life.
But before I stop, what about that idea of being jealous of those who have lived the “good life” ( I am speaking tongue in cheek)? Have you known people who, with a wistful eye or tone in their voice, indicate that they would have liked to spend time “sowing their wild oats” but because they knew better, never did? They look at those are now faithful to God and think ” but I never had all those fun times”
They forget that so many more sinners are trapped and will never escape. Should they, for example, take a single drink from Satan’s sparkling cup of pleasure, they may never return! The answer for them, of course, is not “Go ahead and do so” but rather, “Repent and do not envy or be resentful of that other person’s life.” If, indeed, those former prodigals have repented, they are now sorrowful and not reminiscing about ‘good times’.
Question: Why do we feel we need to resent and hold grudges?
photo taken from Google images.
Posted on August 16, 2012, in Christianity, Faith, First Corinthians 13, Love and tagged Agape, agape love, christianity, faith, forgiveness, grudge, love is not resentful, prodigal son. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.